I got married this summer, and it has been such a difficult adjustment to move away from my family to a different state. I lived with my parents my whole life, until I lived with my husband.
In my parents house, everything was always very safe. If I was down, there was always someone in the house to talk to. If I needed help, my parents were always willing. In Greenpoint, everything was at the tip of my fingers.
My husband and I moved to New Jersey – not too far, but far enough. My husband stayed in his job in New York and travels to work. I got a new job close to where we moved. I started teaching in a PreSchool. I love my job. I love my house. I love my husband. Yet, despite all of that, it did get extremely lonely.
Everything was an adjustment in New Jersey. If you want to go somewhere, you have to drive. The fast food there is fresher, but sushi is expensive and, let’s be real, that’s the only “fast food” I care about. If you know me, you know.
Our house was always empty. I mean, my husband and I were there, but there was no rotation of people coming in and out of the house like I was used to in my family home. In New Jersey I have time alone… with my thoughts! I know – scary. No friends or family close-by.
Having a rotation of family in my home growing up, was great because I was able to meet my need for social interaction. A simple Hello or How was work? from a few people, was just enough to keep me going. Sometimes an aunt would come over, sometimes a cousin. I didn’t have that in New Jersey.
In addition to that, my sister is still living in my parents house, and we were always inseparable. I wished for her when I was little. She is my dream come true. I miss her a lot.
All of this leaves me ridden with guilt that I am not simply LOVING being in New Jersey in my new home with my new husband.
I did start getting acclimated, though. I was in New Jersey in my new job for a few months, and it was starting to feel right…
I was debating getting a very serious surgery for many months. The more time passed, the more I began limping and the worse the pain. In October I went to see my surgeon, and I decided to finally do the surgery. This meant that I had to move into my parents house again. I thought great, I worked so hard to get used to this… I will have to start all over again. This time though, I have my husband here.
It turns out this has been something I really needed – more than I ever knew.
To Be Continued…